Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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