hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
