I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize