my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
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