i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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