i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize