i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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