No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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