All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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