I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
