so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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