I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
