and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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