im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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