so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
