I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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