He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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