Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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