Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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