I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize