Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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