I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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