so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize