ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Girls should come with a carfax report
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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