He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't think brook has ever known best
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
