Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm sorry my penis didn't work

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(614): View more from Ohio

I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

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(812): View more from Indiana

i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop

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(404): View more from Georgia

The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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(845): View more from New York

Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.

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(324): View more from

Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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(516): View more from New York

I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder

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