I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
