Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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  (219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won. http://tfl.nu/tu5d
  Replies (36) Good night (22057) Bad night (3428)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before

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  (828): what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before http://tfl.nu/qvbs
  Replies (7) Good night (780) Bad night (3185)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule

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  (512): got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule http://tfl.nu/94hw
  Replies (16) Good night (7088) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me

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  (707): its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me http://tfl.nu/kg6n
  Replies (11) Good night (1941) Bad night (3411)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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  (305): I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me. http://tfl.nu/06ls
  Replies (21) Good night (5650) Bad night (2229)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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  (217): The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left http://tfl.nu/fjkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2397) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

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  (269): its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot" http://tfl.nu/fb26
  Replies (11) Good night (5257) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.

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  (434): Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them. http://tfl.nu/1lvf
  Replies (19) Good night (1680) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

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  (714): I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle. http://tfl.nu/7gdx
  Replies (10) Good night (574) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror

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  (307): A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror http://tfl.nu/ozj2
  Replies (14) Good night (1053) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

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  (563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"

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  (305): I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court" http://tfl.nu/xin1
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.

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  (954): Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/6nh8
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.

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  (229): I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady. http://tfl.nu/zna4
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (157)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.

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  (306): like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad. http://tfl.nu/rz2w
  Replies (0) Good night (272) Bad night (225)

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