i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Man, jail baloney is awful.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.