Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I want to stick my p in your. b.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I want to stick my p in your. b. http://tfl.nu/0x6h
  Replies (14) Good night (1296) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer. http://tfl.nu/ubeq
  Replies (31) Good night (3176) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I just got invited to go home with a married couple... http://tfl.nu/0i8n
  Replies (12) Good night (5770) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride http://tfl.nu/utbu
  Replies (47) Good night (1082) Bad night (7615)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out. http://tfl.nu/5rrz
  Replies (43) Good night (4697) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover. http://tfl.nu/82ke
  Replies (19) Good night (1519) Bad night (4732)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was like getting a handjob from robocop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): it was like getting a handjob from robocop http://tfl.nu/4yuu
  Replies (15) Good night (974) Bad night (4063)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look. http://tfl.nu/k5sb
  Replies (15) Good night (4687) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/77ib
  Replies (6) Good night (1098) Bad night (2866)
• Favorite

  (550): View more from

  I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (550): I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas http://tfl.nu/h91s
  Replies (1) Good night (1368) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay. http://tfl.nu/qj10
  Replies (19) Good night (1154) Bad night (2021)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection http://tfl.nu/hamn
  Replies (2) Good night (1188) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer http://tfl.nu/t9hh
  Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway http://tfl.nu/794f
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5
  Replies (2) Good night (288) Bad night (472)

Randomize