So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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