You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
