As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize