Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
