Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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