I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
