Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
