I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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