am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
