Please, let me fuck your mom
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
