Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize