I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
3pm strippers are depressing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
