You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
