Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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