sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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