he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
