I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
