Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
