I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize