Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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