i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
