i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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