When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
