I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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