I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
