he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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