It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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