you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize