I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize