remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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