hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
