Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
