i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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