They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
